Weird Dreams I Had

I'll update this every time I have a dream I think is at least mildly interesting and not too unsafe for work. I usually find it boring when people recount their dreams, but no one is forcing you to read this. Feel free to leave your interpretations in the comments.

• 30/01/2021 I subscribed to a service that delivered vitamins and the way it worked was that you sprayed the vitamins into your nose using a banana shaped contraption. I had seen some kind of advert for this service and I had thought "I need this". I found the contraption in a shop and as I was queuing to pay, I accidentally removed some kind of safety seal. This made a loud noise and people turned to look. I said: "Don't worry! I was going to buy this anyway!" The vitamins were delivered by falcon. When you bought the banana device, you got your own falcon. As I was walking home from the shop, I noticed my falcon had escaped. This was worrying but I was also impressed by how beautiful it was. At this point in the dream, the aesthetic was very Hayao Miyazaki (I rewatched Spirited Away recently). I managed to lure the falcon back to my home but a dog (maybe a bear) kept attacking it. I found this very distressing and I tried to protect the falcon as much as possible. 

• 31/01/2021 I was threatened with death by water slide.

• 02/02/2021 Victor and I drove to a place where Nicki Minaj had put on an exhibition, or perhaps it was her theme park. We arrived at the site which was a big industrial wasteland. We followed a pink neon sign to a two-storey bouncy castle. I knew this was not where we would be staying and I said "Can you imagine sleeping in there? The heat must be awful" and Victor said "ugh yeah". We drove around a corner and arrived at our hotel. Inside there was a photo exhibition. Big photo albums with pictures of us and our friends were scattered all over the room. A group of people dressed like mid-'00s emo kids were laughing at some of the photos. We ignored them and went to our room. We started getting ready. I put on a leopard print jacket and applied copious amounts of glitter on my eyelids. 

• 10/02/2021 My therapist had covid but we still decided to meet up in person for a maskless session. 

• 03/09/2021 I was in a house in the countryside. An older woman presented me with some of her artwork. It was a paper sculpture with lots of complicated parts. Hidden in the back of the sculpture were two photos of naked women tied to chairs. I wondered if the women were OK. The artist also handed me some sports equipment but it was dirty so I took it outside. I sat on some stairs and clumsily dropped parts of the very fragile sculpture. I panicked and tried to rebuild the structure. A little girl appeared from the other side of a wall and asked me questions about the artwork. I asked her what she was called and she tried spelling her name out for me, but she struggled to remember the order of the letters.

• 15/09/2021 I went to see a classical music concert in an old building. I arrived just as a talk was ending. I knew the organisers and went to the front of the room to say hello. The audience was getting restless and one of the organisers explained to me that they put the music on at the very end, once "all disputes had been resolved". I went to find a seat. Another talk started and I felt restless too. I eyed the musical instruments and wondered what time it was. It felt late. One of the organisers stood up and announced Marine Le Pen would now be giving a speech for her campaign. I booed as did many others. I stood up and left. Outside, I was on a campsite and I started looking for a dog I could hear barking. I couldn't find the dog. I went back inside the building. Le Pen was still speaking. People in the room seemed agitated. I went back to my seat. I stood up and turned my back to the stage in protest. After a while, I worried people would take this as a sign of support. I could see a few men standing in approval. They clapped when the speech was over. This surprised me. I booed loudly and felt stupid. Some more people clapped and others booed. I worried fewer people were now booing than before. I never heard the music.

• 28/09/2021 On a train. We are aware we have to be careful. Someone might be watching. Behind us, a woman of about 40 with a kind face. Suddenly, I realise she has lied to the authorities telling them I have a suspicious bruise. I start shouting at her. I try to make her see what a terrible person she is. Later, I find her telling more lies about me to the train guard. She's telling him I said my boyfriend was hitting me. I try to protest. I show them my body. There are no bruises. I get more and more frustrated. She looks triumphant. I punch her in the face, hard. I go back to my seat. I tell my boyfriend we are in trouble and have to leave. The woman comes back. To punish me for hitting her, she cuts off our hair

• 07/10/2021 I try to get a covid test but I am told the ride has already started. I am on a roller coaster. I am angry because this is one of my friends' fault. 

• 10/10/2021  I was carrying a cat around the boring posh parts of Paris. It was a nice experience. The cat really wanted to be in my arms. But when I arrived at the Louvre, I realised my clothes were full of holes. I also realised I didn't know where the dog was. 

• 15/10/2021 I found out a doctor had detected cancerous cells in my throat so I had to return for another appointment. I was told there was a 50% chance the doctor would be able to get rid of the cancer but I didn't know how to get to the hospital. Some kids helped me find the right bus. At the doctor's I used a metal stick to remove the cancer. Some of it looked a bit like treacle. The doctor found a pebble in my throat and said it was there because I had the bad habit of playing with the dog on the floor. I told my boyfriend I had cancer and he was visibly miffed. 

• 28/10/2021 I was paying for some things at a self-checkout in a station shop. I noticed that the man behind me was eyeing my backpack. I paid with a five pound note and confronted him about the staring. He told me he had been thinking about stealing my bag (which was now a simple plastic bag). I begged him not to telling him I needed it. I told him I would buy him a nice backpack from one of the station shops. He was delighted. He and I walked around the 7th arrondissement and I told him I went to school in the area but that didn't make me a bourgeoise. I looked at my train ticket and realised I had less than a minute left. I ran along the Seine, and the man followed me. I didn't know where my train was but I was certain I had already missed it. I phoned a friend to tell her I would publish my piece in her journal. I hung up and rang the doorbell of another friend's house. They greeted me warmly. I told everyone the important item, a severed head, was in my bag.

• 23/02/2022 I walked past an antique shop on a narrow Parisian street. Strange sculptures shaped like animals caught my eye but when I looked closer they turned out to be extremely lifelike candles. 

• 10/03/2022 I tweeted "I can't believe it is already Halloween season when March isn't even over yet!"

• 26/01/2023 I went to see a Björk concert with my friend Nick and a bunch of other (faceless) friends. We had really good seats near the front, but when the concert started everyone stood up. We walked around the arena and found a really good spot quite high up with a great view. There was also a merch stand there. I realised with delight that there were keychains for sale with photos of me in my PhD robes on them. I showed the salesperson it was me in the photos, and they were impressed. I bought a few keychains for my family. At the very top of the arena, above the stage, musicians appeared with all sorts of classical instruments. We were excited to hear what they would play. 

• 02/02/2023 I saw an ad campaign asking people to hold in their farts to save the planet.

• 24/02/2023 I went to see a The Smile concert. I got close enough to the stage to talk to Thom Yorke. I asked him if he read philosophy and he said yes. I asked him who he was reading and he mentioned an author I had never heard of with a German sounding name. He was surprised I had never heard of this philosopher and urged me to read his work. The audience kept being moved around and we all tried to get as close as possible to the stage. At one point, I found my friend's dog and my dog in the crowd. They looked terrified so I took them outside. 

• 07/03/2023 I was on a plane with some friends going to a wedding. I noticed the plane was flying really low. Out the window I could see we were almost on the ground, flying between houses. We arrived at an airport where we were supposed to catch another flight. While waiting for the next flight, I walked out of a food shop without paying for some carrots. I did not realise I had stolen them until later. On the second flight, I moved to a much more spacious area of the plane where I could play video games. The game I selected was an office job simulator with very depressed characters moving around their cubicles. When we arrived at our destination, my friends and I were led to the basement room where we would be staying. I had a pet rat I needed to take care of. 

• 21/06/2023 I was getting ready for a Yeah Yeah Yeahs concert in my flat with a bunch of other people, mostly in their 40s and 50s. Karen O was there too and we were close friends. She was pregnant. I put on a red and black dress with red socks, boots and a glittery wig. The older ladies kept using very rare glasses I owned to drink their wine and they kept leaving glassware in cupboards. There was a carnival happening outside with gigantic floats as far as the eye could see.